we have officially lost it.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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