My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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