i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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