did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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