I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
