I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
