we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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