Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
