I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
