his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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