I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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