You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
