Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
