you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
