It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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