Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
