you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
