Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
