Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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