Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
