That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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