Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
