her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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