The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
