Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
