I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
