weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
