names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
