I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
