I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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