omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
