we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
