so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
