hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
