I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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