Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
