im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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