mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
