that's an acceptable place to lick
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
