not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
