you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
