Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
