is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
