I can tuck mytits in my pants
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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