Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
