Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
