i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
