stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
