his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
