Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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