hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
