Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
