Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
