Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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