my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
