Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize