can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
