and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
