Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
