pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i barfeds in our rink
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
