16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
