i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She bit a glass in half.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is Oprah even human
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
