I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
