omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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