I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
