I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
