i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Everyone says I win the strip club
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
